How to conquer a fear of flying: The answer is more flying

For a human to move might be natural, but the different ways we travel in the modern world are most certainly unnatural. As commonplace as flying is, many people are never going to be entirely, or even a little, comfortable with it. Our species was not meant to be hurtling through the skies.

I'd be happy if I never had to get in a commercial jet again, and the planet might be happy if I didn't either, but I've come to terms with the fact that there are some places, including places where family live, that can only be reached by flying, and so I have to hold my nerve and buckle up.

Fortunately, I no longer spend hours psyching myself into a flight. The more flights I take, the more confident I become. In fact, I find myself calming people who are frightened. But few flights are entirely without some anxiety. Sometimes I wish the pilot wouldn't tell us ahead of the flight that there might be "a few bumps" along the way. Often, they don't come at all and it stresses me unnecessarily.

I don't like those bumps. And looking around any flight, when we hit the big ones, most of my fellow passengers don't like them either. The bigger the plane, the happier I am, as they handle the turbulence better.

I'm often surprised at the kinds of people who confess to having this particular fear, aerophobia. And I'm not the only travel writer to suffer from it by a long shot I've discovered. Recently I took a seaplane with a fellow writer who was very fearful of them and had managed to avoid them up until then.

I never used to love seaplanes either when I first flew in one about 20 years ago, especially as the back door stayed open for the first few minutes we were in the air. But like flights in larger planes, I'm accustomed to them now. The experience doesn't feel strange, the loud whirring of the propellers, the jarring take offs and the jittery landings are expected.

Unfortunately, my colleague's first seaplane flight took place during a storm and it was very rough, as we were buffeted by strong winds. I'm sure she was contemplating hijacking a speedboat to return (I was thinking of joining her) but luckily the weather was good for the flight back and she got the chance to experience the joys of flying low over coral reefs and atolls.

This is one of the unsung positive things about travel – the way it sometimes forces us to confront what makes us uncomfortable and challenges us to surmount our fears. For some, it's the rush of reaching a high mountain peak, or zip-lining into a hotel, or plunging into freezing water for a midwinter thrill. There's huge pride when we overcome what our minds are determined won't happen.

For me, the one thing I have always refused to do is fly in a helicopter, especially when it's been a joy flight over a big city like Hong Kong. They're marvels for medivac and remote communities, but not so great if you live somewhere like New York where the noise pollution from constant joy flights over the city is a huge irritation.